So after having my son Bentley, I dated a few guys. I needed them to know i was a single parent but I had everything under control. I did end up finding someone who truly loves me and my son, but before things got serious I sat James down and basically said all of these things to him and made sure he understood it.
Do you think maybe you found that perfect person, someone you wouldn’t mind catching a movie with or taking out on a fancy dinner.. when reality hits and you find out they are a single parent. Now being a single parent can be many things, taking care of their child completely on their own with no help from the other maker of the child, or the other parent is involved but they are no longer together with the person you want to date. SO you sit there and possibly think “I don’t want to be a parent too” , ” I don’t want to be a part of that Baby Daddy/mama drama”, or my favorite ” I don’t want to take care of two people”. Well here what few of us single parents want you to know.
10. Just because you are dating us , does not mean you have to take care of us and our child.
We got this, obviously. I mean what do you think we were doing prior to dating you. Please do not think that we secretly say in our minds when we first meet “Hmm yes this one will provide everything for us and I don’t have to provide for my own child at all” No, most of us ( not all ) are not gold digging assholes and in all honesty we’re probably wondering if you’re good with children or even like them.
9. We will cancel sometimes because of our children.
Our children come first, if one’s sick, or the babysitter has to cancel well then we will have to cancel. Will this happen every single date, NO! Can it? Yes, so get it through your head now , that things happen when dating someone with a child. Things we can not control.
8. Do not tell us how to parent our own child.
If and when we finally let you meet our child, and you sit there and tell me what to feed my kid, or how to discipline them, you need to just stand up and walk out. I won’t tell you how to eat and dress, so don’t do it to us, we get it from other parents enough as it is. Now if we’ve been dating a while and I give your permission that’s a different story, but only if we say it’s okay. Just know when you cross that line though, you are crossing a parenting line.
7. Just because we have ” Baby Mamma/Daddy” drama does not mean you do.
Now some are a tad bit crazy, which again we can not control. Should we have picked a better person, probably. But that other person gave us our wonderful child and that we are grateful for. Just because we have to deal with them does not mean you need too.
6. Just because we are together does not mean you are my child’s “Step Parent”.
If you are completely on board with the whole parenting thing then awesome for you. But this doesn’t mean my child has to call you Mommy/Daddy. If you and my child are okay with it, then that’s a different story, but we want everyone to be comfortable.
5. If you hate children, and do not see yourself ever wanting children or liking them ever. Just Stop and turn around.
It’s nothing personal…okay maybe it is, but if you don’t like kids well then i’m sorry but it wont work. See our child is our world, and we want to find some who will want to or eventually want to spend time with us together.
4. We are a packaged deal.
No, we cant sell them. ( we’ve already tried that… Kidding). We can’t just drop them off every night at the other parents house or babysitters to come be with you. Again they are our world, the reason why we wake up and move our asses to the shitty work place everyday. So we can get them want they need and mostly want. So you take us both or none at all.
3. Please do not think buying our child everything impresses us.
If we see that you’re trying to buy our babies love/liking you, we’ll think it’s cute the first few times but we want them to love/like you on their own, and for who you are, not want you get them.
2. We can still have fun!
Believe it or not, we can still go out and party and have fun! Obviously not every night or week end. Yes, we will want date’s were we can just sit watch a movie and relax. Cause being a single parent is not easy. We also can go out to a club or a party and drink and have fun, just like any other person out there! We not boring trolls.
1.Our child will always come before you.
Hell, our child comes before ourselves. So if you think were just going to push them aside for you. You are very very wrong, and need to date someone without children.
Bottom line.. our kids again are our world. We love them with all our hearts and couldn’t imagine life with out them. We are strong and do not need your help, in parenting or providing the minute we get together. We will not hesitate to push you aside for them, and if you are with us long enough to want to become part of our little family. I promise you it is the most rewarding thing with all the love and happiness we bring.